Two Years...
It's almost been two years since this day.
Two years ago today, I was practically giddy with anticipation.
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| Give or take |
Today I am nearly delirious from exhaustion after a long week of work, science fair, life...and its only Wednesday!!
Tonight as I was taking a blessedly hot, quiet shower thanks to my loving husband taking kid and dinner table clearing duty, I started feeling rather nostalgic about the last two years.
Can you be nostalgic about a marriage that's only celebrating its second year? I say yes...because although it's only been two years, we sure have fit A LOT of life into those years.
Anyway, I have so many reasons to be thankful...a long list of reasons why I think my husband is basically the best thing since whatever the best thing was before sliced bread! But what I got to thinking about tonight was all of the things I've learned. I know I have MUCH more to learn about marriage...and many things that I've learned that still need A LOT of work...its a good thing I've got a lifetime with Glenn to learn them!
But I thought I'd write down a few of the things I've learned these past two years.
1. Marriage is easy...and hard, but there's something more dangerous than hard.
Some days marriage is so easy. It's easy to love your spouse...easy to be caring and kind...easy to have fun together and remember all the reasons why you got married.
Some days marriage is hard...life happens...your failures happen...your spouse's failures happen. You feel like doing just about anything other than being loving, caring, and kind.
And there are some days (a lot of days) that marriage is just mundane. Work, housework, laundry, bills, kids...nothing romantic or special about it.
When marriage is hard, it's easier to be reminded that its worth fighting for...to work towards easy days.
I think the most dangerous times are the mundane times. These are the times when marriage is the most vulnerable. You don't really think about marriage in those times. You just think about getting dinner cooked and forget to kiss your spouse hello. You're focused on getting tasks accomplished rather than on your spouse. You get to feeling like two ships passing in the night, rather than a married couple...
or is it just me??
It seems that the less focused on each other you become in the mundane times of marriage, the harder the hard times become.
A solid marriage foundation is built on the easy days AND the mundane days.
I definitely have a lot to work on in this area.
Me and my type A, to-do list making, get 'er done personality so easily forgets to add the everyday work marriage needs to my list of things to get done.
2. Marriage is not about my happiness, it is about my holiness.
It's a famous saying by some famous marriage guru...but boy have I discovered it's truth! There is no better way to discover all of the things about you that need some serious work then to be married.
Who are you when you're tired?
Mad?
Sad?
Frustrated?
How do you handle stress?
Conflict?
Money?
Decisions?
Who you are in the dark of night gets a BRIGHT light called your spouse shining on it when you're married...and its not always a pretty sight!
I've discovered things about myself that I would never have expected thanks to my husband (not that he's pointed fingers at most of my failings...just that they have become glaringly obvious to me). Although it is not easy to learn how many ways I'm far from perfect, I'm thankful for the knowledge.
I'm thankful for a patient spouse who loves me despite my flaws.
I'm thankful for the daily opportunity to be better, to try again, and grace for when I miss the mark.
I'm thankful that I am becoming a better person because of my husband.
3. Marriage is all about me.
But not in the way you might think.
I'm married to a very human and filled with flaws man.
There are days...seasons...when my needs are not being met.
Days...seasons...when I want to pout and say, I'm not gonna meet any of your needs until mine start being met.
But as a very wise woman sternly reminds me (after nodding very sympathetically) every time, marriage is about me...
It is about ME loving my spouse.
It is about ME supporting, encouraging, and fulfilling the needs of my spouse.
It is about ME reaching towards him no matter if he's willing/able to reach towards me.
Ideally, both flawed people in the marriage will remember (after pouting maybe a little...or again, maybe that's just me!) that this is how marriage is "all about me" and both will be giving their all, but having their needs met at the same time.
But even if not, that doesn't change MY responsibility in the marriage.
I'm not saying that it's easy.
FAR from it.
I've cried with and prayed for wives and husbands who are alone in putting this type of work into marriage, and ultimately, marriage takes two people.
I am so blessed to not deal with the heartache that comes from being the only one working in and fighting for my marriage.
So these are a few of the things I've learned over the past few years. I know that in the next two years I'll learn more..and more in the following two years...and on and on!
I am so grateful to be Mrs. Wallace...to be walking life with THIS man.
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| Doesn't hurt that he's so easy on the eyes! |
I am So blessed!
